The Wonder Of Plantlife...

Me and the girlfriend were having a sarcastic argument last night on our way back home:


Me: "I'm gonna lock you out of the house tonight."
Her: "I'll just throw a brick through the window."
Me: "Where are you going to even get a brick from?"
Her: "I don't know but I'll find one. I'll get one from the woods!"
Me: "The woods?! Surely a building site would be better? Or do bricks not grow there?"
Her: "Bricks don't grow! What a stupid thing to say!!"
Me: "Then why would they be in the ****ing woods then?!"
Her: "Erm... erm... someone might have thrown it there!"

She believed that the off chance of finding a brick thrown into the woods was reason enough to go trapsing through the trees at night.

Automotive Genius...

Today me and the girlfriend were driving down to town when I got the distinct feeling that I'd forgotten something:

She decided to aid me with my possible misplacement.
Her: "Wallet?"
Me: "No, I've got that."
Her: "House keys?"
Me: "Nope."
Her: "Car keys?!"
Me: "...*sigh*."

Clearly the fact we were driving had eluded her during the thought process.

Farmyard Philosophy...

The other day me and my girlfriend were driving home from my Mum's house through the countryside:


Her: "Wow! I just saw a well random cow."
Me: "Random cow?"
Her: "Yeah! It was white with really little black spots. Usually they are white with big black spots!"
Me: "You didn't know you can get cows like that?"
Her: "No?"
Me: "You can even get cows with no spots that are other colours, like brown."
Her: "Wouldn't that make them a horse?"

This is what I have to put up with...